Empowerment is loving my self

I've been moving through a big shift for several weeks. The way a shift happens is that I have a desire, and if there is any resistance, that's what I have to work through (shift) to allow my desires to be expressed and real to me.

I've been taking steps to do some things I've wanted to do for quite some time. One is writing a novel. I've started several times, but got stalled. I joined NaNoWriMo. It's the writing equivalent of jumping off a cliff without a parachute. The point is to send your inner critic on vacation and write a 50,000 word novel during November from start to finish. No editing. No plot. No problem. It's been great. I've tossed aside so many of the reasons I had writer's block. Whatever I want to change can be handled when I edit. For now, I just write and enjoy the ride.

I'm also getting my ducks in a row for ways to bring money in to support myself in an easy way and also be able to write. I'm going to be a tax preparer! Quite a surprise to me, but I actually enjoy doing the tax returns -- I think because I like a mystery and it's a challenge to get everything in the right place to make the biggest savings for the client. I know there is an unending flow of abundance for me, you, and all of us and I'm also learning all kinds of information to help me manage money more wisely. The office is a few blocks from my house and the owner wonderful to work for.

Sounds easy, right? So, what was the resistance? It was a lot of really old childhood stuff about not being worthy and not good enough. Here's an example of how that showed up: I had trouble sleeping the two nights before the final -- the night before I only slept 2 hours. I got so frustrated because I often do that when something important is coming up. This time I could tell that it wasn't worry -- I could handle this class. I could do the final. The owner of the company is also the trainer and a great guy. I'm laying there wanting to go to sleep and I ask myself, is this self-sabotage? I decided it was. I took a Hyland's Calms Forte (a gentle, non-addictive homeopathic sleep aide which can either help you sleep or help you relax so that it doesn't bother you that you can't sleep). I made a decision about what I was going to do the next day, got up and watched a movie, got a little bit more sleep in the morning, attended the final class, got my certificate, and a job offer starting in January.

I haven't been blogging my path through the unpleasant feelings of this particular shift which has been over several weeks, so this may sound flip and easy. It's definitely been a journey through the back country of feelings from childhood -- many intense, many unpleasant feeling. I appreciate learning to take back my power -- it's never them or anything outside of me, but it sure felt like it. When we get those ideas of unworthiness when we are so young -- two, three years old or even an older child -- it seems like who we are and we don't realize then we are powerful souls. I've always wanted to please those family members -- if they loved me then maybe I would be lovable. Those primitive thoughts and feelings from those very young days had been stuck, but they aren't any more!

I had some thoughts about resistance:

-- resistance is about a thought I have that tells me I can't have what I want
-- frustration is a strong desire and an opposing thought that I can't have my desire
-- overwhelment is a desire and a thought that tells me I'm not enough to handle my
desire or I'm not ready for it
-- despair is a desire and a thought that says I'm not good enough and never will be

Those opposing thoughts are just that -- thoughts which we have the power to change.

The crazy thing is that we are always good enough for our desires. The only reason we would EVER think we were not good enough for any joy in life is if we are letting someone else affect our thinking. When the words were spoken often or when we were young, they become almost subliminal. We forget we didn't always think that way, but we didn't. Our natural state is being loving to ourselves and from that love of our self, we give to others.

What has really helped me is to look at life this way: whatever doesn't feel good is not outside of me, but always a thought that I have. The more I choose to think that way the more control I have over what I think and feel. I feel better. I allow myself to feel empowered and successful and feel more balanced.

Sometimes I really have to work because I have an old feeling where I don't even hear the thoughts that cause it any more. The journey is worth it. And coming around to where I started this post, it happens when I have a desire and the desire begins to come to me. The distance between feeling my desire and living it is whatever I have to clear away and let go of to connect. That's where my work is and it is worth it.

I like feeling good. Call me Pollyanna. I don't care. I journaled these next words on October 23, 2006. This is the way I like it:

Now, I feel like I'm floating in the ocean, looking at the beautiful sky, letting the water rock me, and the more I do that, the better it gets. I'm also doing a lot of action right now, but it's not my focus. I'm at the beach...just hanging out.

I find a new view of allowing

On August 6, 2006 I had an epiphany: what if all resistance is about not loving myself. That realization sent me down a path that has opened up more and more well-being in my life...one step after another.

At night when I lay down to sleep, I usually focus on my Inner Being or God or Source Energy, sometimes guides and teachers or angels...just whatever light beings I feel drawn to. I give myself to that presence...give all the troubled thoughts and feelings and ask them to take them and transform them into love. I often fall asleep feeling that connection and right before I go to sleep I'll have an awareness.

Some night recently I had the most wonderful feeling of God saying they are my partner in this -- in getting the money or things I desire. It wasn't just me asking and it being supplied, there was a feeling of companionship and being with me and for me.

And last night I was especially giving some discomfort in my body and I was thinking about what allowing healing would be like -- a really great doctor or a miraculous, spiritual healing, finding some alternative healer, herbs. I had the awareness that it wasn't something outside of me, it is that I allow God to love the cells of my body and nurture and nourish them. Then it went farther. I allow God to nurture and nourish and love my finances and home and friendships and sexuality and lovelife. I allow God to nourish and nurture me.

I've been thinking a lot about Abraham saying that we don't have to do work to allow good, all we have to do is to not resist because there is only a stream of well-being. The more I realize it's not "them" or anything outside of me that is creating discomfort, the easier it is to come to a place of feeling better.
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I'm using the term "resistance" and "allowing" in the context of the information given by Abraham-Hicks. For more information visit www.abraham-hicks.com/.

Chief Joseph: Morning in the Mountains (a truly beautiful channeled message)

Have you ever been completely captivated by a beautiful setting -- maybe a blood-red sunset on the seashore, freshly scented air after a soft summer rain, or a moonlit morning in the mountains?

John Cali

This past Sunday morning I awakened just before dawn. The nearly full moon was hovering over the rugged Absaroka Mountains to the west. On the eastern horizon the sun, an orange-gold globe, was peeping over the foothills, bathing the summits of the western mountains in an otherworldly glow.

Puffy white clouds raced across the deep blue sky, pushed by a warm wind blowing out of the west.

Suddenly the whole valley around me was alive with a golden-amber light. Everything was glowing, transformed as if we'd moved into another dimension.

Even Daisy Mae, my neighbor's big beautiful mule, halted her grazing and was uncharacteristically quiet. She just stood there gazing eastward as the sun rose higher and higher. It was as if she was transformed too.

I stood there amazed -- how much beauty there is in our world! We don't even have to look for it. It's all around us. No matter where we live -- in the city, at the seashore, or in the mountains.

But I still see many folks around me blind to the beauty, intently focused instead on all the world's problems, and their own.

Here's Chief Joseph.

Chief Joseph

Beauty, as John said, is all around you. And within you -- and within all that is.

You've heard it said "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." And that is absolutely true. But in our view, that doesn't mean the beauty exists only in the eye of the beholder. As we see it, it means the beholder has a gift for seeing the beauty -- the best -- in the world, in him/herself. In all beings.

We once defined love as the choice to see the divinity in all beings. Not just human beings, but all beings, whether you consider them "conscious" or not. All things -- all that is -- have a consciousness. Even if you consider them inanimate -- like a rock or a mountain.

All things -- all beings -- all that is -- are part of God, Goddess, Great Spirit. You are all one -- and one with us in our shared divine connection.

And so, if we are all God or Goddess, then we are all beautiful. The first step in shifting your consciousness to a higher level is to simply acknowledge there is beauty in all that is. Maybe you don't see the beauty now. But it is there.

If you will but look for that beauty all around you, knowing in your heart it is there, you will find your life becoming more joyful and peaceful.

Look for the beauty everywhere -- in the obvious places, as in the sunrise, the sunset, the mountains, the sea. But also get used to looking for it in unexpected places. Look for it everywhere.

Look for it in every thing, in every human, in every other being. And, most of all, look for it in yourself.

For when you can clearly see -- and appreciate and love -- the beauty you are, then you will be inundated by the beauty all around you. It's always been there. You just haven't noticed.
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The loving words of Chief Joseph are channeled by John Cali. Visit John's web site for more articles, information about readings, or to sign up for his newsletter, Sentinels of the Sky at http://www.greatwesternpublishing.org

November 8, 2006, Sentinels of the Sky, "Morning in the Mountains" copyright © 2006 by Great Western Publishing -- All rights reserved. Article posted with permission of John Cali.