February 28th: Another shift in Allowing Well-Being

Three things: You ask; the Universe gives; you let in. That's all there is to it. And if you're not living it, it's not because you're not asking. You are. And it's not because the Universe is not yielding. It is. It's because you are not in the receiving mode.

Abraham-Hicks, From the workshop recording 3/20/01

I had another big shift on February 28th. I found out on February 27th that money that I thought I would have for my rent and bills wasn't going to come in until March 28th. I panicked. Yes, because the landlord wants the money promptly on the first of the month at 9 am, but more because I felt so unsure about being able to borrow it from anyone in my family. I still didn't trust them, didn't feel I could turn to them. One brother, who has quite a bit of money, said no. My sister and other brother don't have a lot and I didn't ask them (more about this in the next post about Relationships). I tried local agencies and everything else I could think of and then asked my ex-husband. He has always been a very good friend and he said yes, he would loan me the money.

I felt so ashamed of failing. Of making choices that have led me to this situation. My financial situation's been like this for about a year and a half, off and on. I don't ask for help because there's only $3 in my pocket and no visible prospects. I ask because there's $3 in my pocket and the rent is due.

I really believe in deliberate reality creation. There are innumerable ways I could go about changing my life, but I'm doing what feels right to me now. And the payoffs have been powerful in terms of releasing old emotional burdens and baggage.

After many surgeries and the aftermath, the options for working haven't been the same as before. No more intense jobs, overtime, jobs requiring that wonderful memory and thinking process. And where I've moved to doesn't have as many options that I had before in Northern Virginia, such a rich area. I believe I can have prosperity anywhere I live and with the talents that I have. And whether there are abundant jobs here or not, I just need one. I'm looking for something I can do from home or close to it.

I just feel so strongly that it's time for me to believe in myself and believe in what feels right. As I walk in that direction, the Universe will roll out a red carpet of opportunities. As far as paying the rent on March 1, this was a quote on the Abraham-Hicks site when I was going through this:

Achieve, first, the vibrational essence of your desire -- and then, through the crack of least resistance the manifestation will be delivered....

Abraham-Hicks, From the workshop recording 3/6/04-A

Somehow or other, I have made it to this day and the bills have been paid. These are the paths of least resistance: I've gotten extremely frugal, a skill I had tuned to a fine art when I was married and in college. Jobs have come along including the absolute delight of being paid to write. I have had to let people in, to ask and accept support, especially money. When I was working the intense jobs I used to have and had lots of money, it was so easy to give, but, oh, the fear of asking and being told no! It was that old fear of being abandoned by those that I depended on to take care of me and not having the ability to take care of myself.

Somehow, the money has been there and I've tightened my belt to live with what I have. I've learned a lot about what I really need to get along.

I really do feel that we can learn in whatever way we allow. There's no need to suffer to learn what we want, the Universe provides generously and lovingly in every way we allow. So, this was what I was allowing. And the suffering and stress I experienced was due to fighting it, not liking what was happening, and not seeing that the path of least resistance was being presented and my desires were being answered in the way I would allow it.

I'm releasing old patterns and beliefs and a lot of energy is released in that process. For two or three days, I felt a bit crazy, periods of exhaustion or high energy while I came into balance. I have a lot of insights and understandings as the stuck places dissolve. It's a little disorienting at first to get outside of the box.

My own truth is much more clear to me now because I don't have someone else's beliefs in my head (or my interpretation of their beliefs).

And the other thing I experience, and this is a lot of fun, is walking through that old stuff. It's that time when I feel like I'm in the pit, I'm experiencing exactly what I had feared, and I'm walking through it. For whatever reason, I didn't complete the learning in the past. So, now I'm learning how to walk this part of the path.

I didn't know when I was younger, but I know now is that this is a loving Universe. I've learned that my call is answered, and more than that, that it is answered with an unbelievably sweet grace. I feel like I'm in a strange, new place. This morning I couldn't think what to do next to pull in money, but I asked for guidance and the thoughts came. So, now I have a plan. And I know just in the allowing, that the Universe is bringing opportunities that I'm not even aware of.

The other awareness I have, is that this has nothing to do with my family or money or jobs or being a writer or anything outside of me. These are the issues that I focused on to pinch off well-being, but they aren't important at all actually. Abe never says that we have to work to have our well-being provided. They just say that well-being is who we are, that we ask, the Universe answers, and when we allow, we receive. I'll tell you one thing. I have a lot of abundance in my life, I really do, and I'm ready now to allow a steady flow of abundance in the form of money!

The journey continues.

Some things you're not letting happen right now because the timing isn't perfect for you. Some you're not letting happen because you are very aware of where you are. But all things, as they are happening, are happening in perfect order. And if you will relax and begin saying, "Everything in its perfect time. Everything is unfolding. And I'm enjoying where I am now, in relationship to where I'm going. Content where I am, and eager for more," that is the perfect vibrational stance.

Abraham-Hicks, From the workshop recording 9/17/03

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