Sunday, December 25, 2005

The Gift of Receiving

This day, of all days, is a great day to receive gifts. We hear that it is so much better to give than to receive and in my experience, that's so that I can experience the love that I am. In giving that love whether by things or actions or words, I also receive the love that is flowing through me. But today is about receiving gifts and I can't imagine a better gift than the one I woke up with. I'm not even sure I can describe it except to say that it is a feeling that I have been wanting for a long, long time. I expect I had this feeling when I was a child. I feel solid inside, like I have a strong heart, instead of hollow with nervousness or doubt or worry. It's not the moving, liquid, flowing feeling of joy and happiness, it just I just stable and calm and centered. That's the word, centered. I like knowing where I am going and why. I like choosing my own path and believing in myself in spite of what flies in the face of the practical thinking of the way it should be of family and friends and much of society. It is the most precious gift to feel that I can truly do what I enjoy and make a living and that it's ok. It's ok for me to choose my life and live like I want to, and to finally understand that a loving Universe will support me in my choices.

And as I write this and sit and ponder it a moment I can see that I am experiencing what Abraham has been teaching. I was so miserable before because I was trying to fit into what society or friends or boyfriend or husband or boss thought as well as trying to follow my own inner voice. Even though I was thought of as an unconventional person, I had a foot in two worlds and could only achieve happiness in brief moments. With these teachings I understand that I create my own life and reality and that a loving Universe answers my desires. It's not the random answer that I had experienced before, but a constant loving Yes! to me. There have been many things that have been key for me in these teachings, but trust in the loving All That Is has been so important. Abraham's teachings helped me understand that it is my thinking that creates my life and my feelings that tell me how my thoughts align with my true desires. It was not easy to turn from thinking I should have a certain career path, be responsible, do the right thing...and face believing that money will flow to me when I do what I love. Right now that is writing and channeling, but I am aware there are many other passions waiting for me to open up to them. It wasn't easy turning from thinking that I had to look a certain way to be loved or be worthy. But when I let go of that...the love comes to me. I really can trust Mother Father God to answer my prayers. It's not random at all.

And you might say, "well of course that's true! We can choose to do what we enjoy. It's easy, Suzanne."

I've been making the choice to believe in what I love for several months now and walking toward it, but still thinking I should "do the right thing" and be responsible. I should get that permanent job and save up until I the day I can take off and do what I really enjoy. That day never came for me until I made the choice to just plain believe in it. I have $2 in my purse and about $15 in the bank for gas and food for two weeks and this has about been the situation for several months. I've tightened my belt and learned I didn't really need those things I had been spending money on. I did project work for money for bills and had to borrow a couple of times, but I have felt richer these last few weeks than I ever have in my life. I have my first writing "gig" online and am learning a lot. And as I do writing, I understand my talents better and get more ideas and see more opportunities.

The other day I had this understanding that this is how it works. We do this fun thing and then see another fun thing we want to do and and do it and so on. But we have to take the steps and actually be in it and experience it to realize there is a next step for US. We may be able to see all of these things but they seem beyond us, a good idea, a fantasy, until we start to make it real by actually doing it. Then we see the possibilities and start picking out the ones that appeal to us...creating our new path. I know there is so much I want to do!

Probably the people that know me wouldn't know what an incredible gift I have received today. They might just see that I'm calmer and more peaceful. But I am now absolutely on this new path -- both feet walking in the same world now and it's mine! This is a great gift. A welcome gift. An incredible gift. Life is an adventure. This is true freedom.

And there is more. There is always more. More joy to experience. More fun things to do. More to discover and learn and enjoy. More love to give and receive. More gifts to give and more presents to unwrap. All in the eternal experience of the Love that is and the Love that we are.

For those of you who are reading this, I see this as a spiritual day, not a religious one. It is a sacred day about the birth of our true nature, the consciousness of our loving Self, offered to every heart and mind. Blessed be to you this day and always, may you know the truth that you are a beautiful light in this world. Namaste.


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