Dealing with family

The biggest factor is the belief factor. So, if we were standing in your physical shoes, we would decide what we want, and then we would work every day to bring ourselves into vibrational alignment with it. Find someone who's living an aspect of life that you would like, and observe them more than whatever you've been observing. And your life will shift to what you are observing, because what you are observing, in this case, is dominating your vibrational patterns. Pick the best from everything and use it as your role model, and use it as your reason to offer a vibration, and watch your life be transformed into all of that.

Abraham-Hicks, From the workshop recording 9/24/03

I used to use that technique when I worked in an office. There would be people that I really admired. If I had something I wanted to do better I would notice how they handled it. I learned from them. There are writers I admire and I enjoy how they write and how they develop characters as much as I enjoy the stories. Same with movies. Their skill enhances the story.

I wrote in a previous post about a big shift that is happening to me this month. Feelings about family came up as the next step to deal with so this quote is really timely for me. I am wanting to feel better around my family and to feel better about them. I moved away right after high school (1966) and just moved back about three years ago because I had an inner feeling that it was time to heal old wounds and come to terms with my thoughts and feelings about my childhood and family. I am so glad I did. My brothers, sister, and I have had a difficult time with our dad and I was able to come to terms with with my feelings about him. He died last summer and I was so glad to be able to freely love and comfort him as he was going through his illness.

I'm looking for a way to be who I am and communicate with family. Let me give you an example. I have a brother who is a nice person, but he hunts, shoots cats, thinks Rush Limbaugh and the John Birch Society have something important to say, and uses the N word for African Americans. You get the idea. He's not the only one. I love animals, especially cats. I'm not always on the liberal side in politics, but most of the time I am. I believe in respecting the environment, animals, and each other. If I see a spider or bug in the house I will catch it, bless it, and release it outside. They try to come in when it starts getting cold. I've never had a problem otherwise. My brothers, sister, and I met for lunch the other day and there was a place in the conversation where it fit to tell them that. My brother about spit out his drink laughing. I feel so different than my family that I haven't told them who I am. And I don't feel I am respected when I do. And, no, I don't confront them about things like that. I grew up in an angry household when I was very small and I kept a low profile, still do pretty much. It would help so much for me to be able to work through that and tell them what I think -- and don't worry, that day's coming!

I got into this topic about family from the Abraham quote above. Abraham is saying that to experience the Source Energy that we are...we need to appreciate. There is a buffet of life and when we choose to think about and to look at what we appreciate, then we will create more of that in our lives. More importantly, we will feel the love and creativity and joy of Source Energy. And the quote above talks about focusing on people we appreciate. There are things I appreciate about every family member, but more that I find aggravating. And I don't like how I feel around them. In Abraham terms I feel a lot of resistance around them -- about them and about myself. This is a blog about my path to feeling good. And I definitely want to feel good so that's incentive to deal with all of this old crap. I can't change them, but I can change myself. And I do believe that as I change they will shift in their relationship to me. The point isn't to get them to shift though, the point has to be for me to allow myself to feel good about who I am no matter what.

Friday I had the most powerful experience of reality creation -- it really, really works. And Saturday I just kind of spent the day in amazement. I can see there is no need to struggle or worry or resist about anything! So, on this topic of family, I know it's the same way. We create by our desire and our intention. I've spent so much time resisting family that I'm not even sure what something positive would be. I certainly don't feel like I have the right to desire them to change. And when I think about being who I am around them it seems like I wouldn't fit in at all -- I just feel really isolated. At least I feel like I can kind of blend in now and talk about what they are interested in (the shortest way to get to so and so's house, the price of gas, illnesses and surgeries, how great Bush is, Nixon was a wonderful fellow, killing animals for fun and pleasure, cleaning, what everyone else in the family is doing). Do I sound like as big a snob as I felt writing that? I have to laugh -- oh, well, then I guess I am. It is true though -- that's a huge part of the conversation. My ideas, education, spiritual beliefs, and personality are so different -- pretty New Age for one thing.

I'm just sitting here thinking. You know, it's not what they think and say that is bothering me. If I can come to terms with myself, and accept myself around them...I don't think anything they say will bother me. I might not agree with it and can say so or not at the time, but I don't think I will feel sad or hurt or angry or alienated and isolated. I believe I can find a way to stay connected to that loving Source Energy when I am around them.

Well, that's it! That's the desire that I have -- to stay connected to Source Energy when I am around them. And that's how quickly reality creation works. I had the desire to understand what I wanted and by the time I got to the paragraph above, the answer was given to me. In psychological terms, I would say that I was giving away my power to them by feeling that I needed their approval in order to feel good. I could see that, but I thought I would have to somehow learn not to want their approval and love and I would also have to heal...release...forgive all hurtful memories of the past. But I don't have to deal with all of the patterns from the past. I don't have to change myself. I don't have to have them change. I don't have to undo or heal whatever happened when I was a child or even last week so that I can feel good. I don't have to go into therapy for years. I don't have to do any of those things to stay connected to Source around them. All I have to do is desire it, and it is mine.

From this awareness will come other enlightenend thoughts when I am around them -- of how I want to respond to them...how I want to think of them...how I want to feel about myself. And much more understanding that I will find out about as I let the energy flow through this old, stuffy, slow-moving area of my life.

And so, anything that anyone wants whether it’s a material object, a relationship, a state of being, a circumstance, or a pot of money… anything you want is because you think, in the having of it, you would feel better...And so, you have this natural barometer inside of you that is always helping you reach for an improved feeling. The You that is really You has a broader perspective, not only from this physical experience, but from all that every one of you has ever lived. You will not be misguided by paying attention to the way you feel and reaching for the feelings that feel best...It is not possible for you to reach for what feels good, and do harm to anyone—it is not possible.

Abraham-Hicks, San Rafael, CA, 2-21-04

They cannot disconnect me from Source! No one can. Nothing can. What a powerful thought that is. Abraham is saying that Source Energy, God, the Universe, All That Is answers our every desire. It is by staying connected to Source that we allow it. And we know we are connected when we feel good. The more I have trusted, the quicker and more easily I have experienced this being true. It seems like magic! This makes life so much easier and fun and I certainly do feel better.

There's nothing like being in the trenches -- in the midst of whatever I am not liking -- to really focus on what I am really wanting. I decided yesterday though, that it's enough of learning through struggle. Now I want to learn what it's like to live life more easily. To go from one joyful adventure to another.

I feel turned around from feeling like I was wrapped up in duct tape when I was thinking about my family to feeling calm and at peace. How cool.

I just LOVE learning how reality creation works!! I've been exploring spiritual and New Age concepts for about 25 years or more. I found Abraham-Hicks a little over two years ago and that was the key piece I needed to put it all together. If you ever have any questions about how Abe's concepts work for me or anything I've said, just tell me in a comment and I'll discuss it in a post.

Wishing you a beauty of a day!!

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