Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I am transformed by my willingness to allow the Oneness I desire

My experience of how reality creation works is changing in a most delightful way. I took on the challenge of tax preparation beginning in January 2007. I had the training in the fall of 2006, but the IRS rules felt overwhelming to remember. Actually doing the returns has been a wonderful learning experience: I've stepped up to confidence and opened to trust with the Universe in a new way (well, it didn't always feel wonderful going through it! I appreciate being in a much better place.)

I've used the processes I've described in my posts to work to better feelings from the fears and insecurities I experienced about whether I could handle it or whether I would know enough to do the job. It's not the type of work I would ever have thought of doing and it's been a leap of faith the whole way.

I've also been continuing my spiritual discoveries and walking my path to well-being on my free time. Last week I received two books at the same time that I had requested through interlibrary loan: The Secret of the Beloved Disciple by James Twyman and No Attachments No Aversions by Lester Levenson. They differ in the way it happened, but both books describe the journey of the authors in allowing the Oneness that is our true nature. I could hardly put them down and read them quickly. This Oneness is something I desire and yet something I have resisted because I felt I would have to sacrifice, be a nun, and I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy this life. Well, I haven't fully enjoyed this life anyway and I do want to experience the Oneness so I used a technique of being willing. To allow myself to be willing, I go back as far as I need to: For example, I am willing to be willing to be willing to allow Oneness. I say whatever I need to say to be in the place of allowing. I said I was willing after reading these books and my life has changed again. The transformation is so, so gentle, warm, and comforting.

This is what I did after being willing: When I lay down at night or whenever I feel troubled, I give whatever feelings and desires I have to God. Then I rest in an experience of being gently present with the Presence. Most of the time I feel an instant release of unpleasant feelings and often have an insight right then or shortly after. Sunday I had the desire to be at peace about this job at home and at work, and to just trust that the Universe will bring the information and support I desire to take care of the return I'm preparing. I also had the desire to really feel that God will prosper me whether I continued with the job the next day or not. I want to feel free.

After that visit with God I described I had the insight of why I felt worried about knowing everything. I felt peace and trust. For a week or more I have asked the Universe to bring me customers with returns that I know how to do and that has happened in an amazing way. Two people will walk through the door one right after the other. I get the first one which is one I know how to do and the other one is more complicated and is taken by someone else who can handle it. I've asked that I be guided to read about tax rules or practice problems that have situations I will need that day and that has happened. As a matter of fact, I had practiced something that I needed for a customer today which the manager didn't know about. He later emailed it as a tax tip to the other preparers. That is wonderful, but what I appreciate the most is feeling peaceful and calm while I'm in a situation where I am "flying by the seat of my pants" so to speak.

I truly do want this wonderful feeling of connection, peace, and joy that Abraham has been talking about. Now I can feel how it works. It is a matter of trusting that All Is Well and enjoying the change that God gives when a desire is fulfilled. Today I experienced a conversation with Source Energy where I ask, I trust, then I notice that it is given. It really is like a smooth flow through the day. I appreciate this much happier experience of my life and look forward to enjoying the journey even more.


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