Sunday, December 25, 2005

The Gift of Receiving

This day, of all days, is a great day to receive gifts. We hear that it is so much better to give than to receive and in my experience, that's so that I can experience the love that I am. In giving that love whether by things or actions or words, I also receive the love that is flowing through me. But today is about receiving gifts and I can't imagine a better gift than the one I woke up with. I'm not even sure I can describe it except to say that it is a feeling that I have been wanting for a long, long time. I expect I had this feeling when I was a child. I feel solid inside, like I have a strong heart, instead of hollow with nervousness or doubt or worry. It's not the moving, liquid, flowing feeling of joy and happiness, it just I just stable and calm and centered. That's the word, centered. I like knowing where I am going and why. I like choosing my own path and believing in myself in spite of what flies in the face of the practical thinking of the way it should be of family and friends and much of society. It is the most precious gift to feel that I can truly do what I enjoy and make a living and that it's ok. It's ok for me to choose my life and live like I want to, and to finally understand that a loving Universe will support me in my choices.

And as I write this and sit and ponder it a moment I can see that I am experiencing what Abraham has been teaching. I was so miserable before because I was trying to fit into what society or friends or boyfriend or husband or boss thought as well as trying to follow my own inner voice. Even though I was thought of as an unconventional person, I had a foot in two worlds and could only achieve happiness in brief moments. With these teachings I understand that I create my own life and reality and that a loving Universe answers my desires. It's not the random answer that I had experienced before, but a constant loving Yes! to me. There have been many things that have been key for me in these teachings, but trust in the loving All That Is has been so important. Abraham's teachings helped me understand that it is my thinking that creates my life and my feelings that tell me how my thoughts align with my true desires. It was not easy to turn from thinking I should have a certain career path, be responsible, do the right thing...and face believing that money will flow to me when I do what I love. Right now that is writing and channeling, but I am aware there are many other passions waiting for me to open up to them. It wasn't easy turning from thinking that I had to look a certain way to be loved or be worthy. But when I let go of that...the love comes to me. I really can trust Mother Father God to answer my prayers. It's not random at all.

And you might say, "well of course that's true! We can choose to do what we enjoy. It's easy, Suzanne."

I've been making the choice to believe in what I love for several months now and walking toward it, but still thinking I should "do the right thing" and be responsible. I should get that permanent job and save up until I the day I can take off and do what I really enjoy. That day never came for me until I made the choice to just plain believe in it. I have $2 in my purse and about $15 in the bank for gas and food for two weeks and this has about been the situation for several months. I've tightened my belt and learned I didn't really need those things I had been spending money on. I did project work for money for bills and had to borrow a couple of times, but I have felt richer these last few weeks than I ever have in my life. I have my first writing "gig" online and am learning a lot. And as I do writing, I understand my talents better and get more ideas and see more opportunities.

The other day I had this understanding that this is how it works. We do this fun thing and then see another fun thing we want to do and and do it and so on. But we have to take the steps and actually be in it and experience it to realize there is a next step for US. We may be able to see all of these things but they seem beyond us, a good idea, a fantasy, until we start to make it real by actually doing it. Then we see the possibilities and start picking out the ones that appeal to us...creating our new path. I know there is so much I want to do!

Probably the people that know me wouldn't know what an incredible gift I have received today. They might just see that I'm calmer and more peaceful. But I am now absolutely on this new path -- both feet walking in the same world now and it's mine! This is a great gift. A welcome gift. An incredible gift. Life is an adventure. This is true freedom.

And there is more. There is always more. More joy to experience. More fun things to do. More to discover and learn and enjoy. More love to give and receive. More gifts to give and more presents to unwrap. All in the eternal experience of the Love that is and the Love that we are.

For those of you who are reading this, I see this as a spiritual day, not a religious one. It is a sacred day about the birth of our true nature, the consciousness of our loving Self, offered to every heart and mind. Blessed be to you this day and always, may you know the truth that you are a beautiful light in this world. Namaste.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Yearning and worry -- how that stops us from having what we yearn for

I was reading the descriptions of Chief Joseph's readings that are for sale online and kind of yearning for money as I was reading through them. As I read a description that said our power is in the present moment, I got the intuitive answer that the reason yearning feels unpleasant and uncomfortable is because it is not present moment. And I channeled this: "As a matter of fact, yearning is desiring a future that you do not desire in truth. Your yearning gets you in touch with the lack, the future that you do not want. Yes, indeed, the solution is to be in the present and to do whatever you can to realize that you have what you want right now. You are safe, you are warm, you have a comfortable home, your big toe feels good...if you look at whatever feels good to you in the moment you will remember that all is well. And as you look at this good, if you will allow it, there will be more good that you can see out of the corner of your eye and you look at it and then there is more and pretty soon you are feeling pretty good!!! We are complete."

And then I was musing and thought of the time when I was in the bathroom recently and saw the two small glowing round lights. I wondered at the time if they were spirits and my mind instantly said they were reflections of car lights. Then I didn't see the lights. Well, the blinds were closed and where the lights were couldn't have been reflections anyway. But what I understand from this remembrance is that my mind worked with me to not allow this experience. I feel that my mind considered it a safety feature -- I've seen lights before, but these were very close and I did feel a little apprehension. It seems like this is an example of what Abraham is saying: we stop the creating of our desires when we say we want the new red car and in the same breath say that we can't have it because we don't have the money. So, I saw and thought they might be spirits and then thought it couldn't be. My mind was taking care of me by saying something that relieved my slight concern, but it also stopped the experience.

I was just leaning back thinking and wandered into thinking about Survivor and weight loss and how people gain more than normal for them after the show. And the understanding I got is that it is the belief in lack and the fear of lack that actually causes the body to become larger. The body quite naturally wants to feed and become large when it has experienced famine. So, when we are fearful about the future and about having enough, the body wants to pack it on and we are going to have the desire to eat foods that are fattening. That's also why the fattening foods are so comforting. Those foods are telling us that we are going to be prepared by having enough fat in our bodies to get through that lack period we are afraid of!! I know that when I have a feeling of well-being, of "enough," I eat quite differently than I do when I feel worried. We had a big snowstorm a couple of days ago. It took 4 hours to make a 50 minute trip from work to my hometown and I went to the grocery store before I came home. I just laughed when I unpacked the groceries. I bought four different types of chocolate food!! I didn't know the antidote for ice and snow was chocolate!

And, you know, I think fear does lay under my feelings about getting some of the things I really want -- maybe all of them. Can I handle it? Will someone be jealous? Will it ever get here? And isn't this an interesting one: will I enjoy life if it's too easy? I used to always want to do things the hard way, have the toughest teachers, and take on the challenges. I went so far on that path that my body became ill. I can see how all of these musings today are showing me how fear stops the things I want from coming into my life. So, with Abraham I am learning that I don't have to create problems in order to have something challenging...that there is a whole big, unlimited world out there to explore and no end to what we can create delightfully and joyfully. It is a LOT more fun for me to live this way and I am happier every day.

(See my other blog, Words of Well-Being, for channeled information.)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Birds are a symbol of Freedom - a gift after I saw the Seagull

This first quote is the one that came to me right after I saw the seagull I mention in the post before this:

Birds, they are the symbol of Freedom. They are the closest thing to absolute, pure freedom you can visually witness in your physical experience. They are so flexible and so mobile and so light and so free and so joyful! They represent the pure essence of your Being -- and that is why you are drawn to them.

Abraham-Hicks, workshop G 2/8/91

The birds of your planet are often messengers or translators of Non-Physical Energy; all beasts are, to a certain extent. But the birds of your planet are used often in that way. Non-Physical Energy, wanting to express something to physical, often finds a bird as a very easy messenger, because the birds are mobile, they are everywhere, and they are willing. And they are vibrationally intuitive, sensitive to vibration more so than most beasts, and therefore pliable to the will, if you will, of the Energy.

Abraham-Hicks, workshop 12/9/00-B

Abraham-Hicks quotes copyright by Abraham-Hicks Publications. For more information visit

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Response to channeling in Words of Well-being, Dec. 7, 2005

When channeling in Words of Well-being on December 7, 2005, I was asked to share these experiences.

I was not enjoying my job, relationships, had health problems, financial problems and just generally had come to the end in the direction I had been going. I found the Abraham-Hicks information and knew it was what I was looking for. Instead of trying to make changes in small increments, I jumped in to completely change the whole direction of my thinking. It was a lot to take on and I quite naturally didn't immediately feel better. Abraham talks of how we create our reality and that when we appreciate, we are connected with the loving Source and with our Inner Being. One time I was feeling pretty miserable, many things not seeming to be working well. I was in a pet store looking for food for my cat and asking for guidance and I asked my Inner Being: Well, how would you do it in my shoes? How would you appreciate right now? And suddenly I saw all of the food and toys that were available shelf after shelf. And the beautiful colors and just the abundance. And the money I had to buy it. I walked out into the dark night and looked at the grainy broken concrete and the patterns looked beautiful. It had started to snow and I stood under a light in the parking lot and just looked at the big, fluffy flakes coming down. I drove home in a daze of enjoyment and appreciate of the lights of the cars and how traffic moved so smoothly and how stunningly beautiful the snow storm was. Seeing the grainy concrete as beautiful really surprised me and I also remember just that joyful, constant appreciation and wonder at how beautiful everything was. We have a tremendous capacity for joy if we will allow it.

And there is one more experience I am to share. I had taken a job in January this year and it was in a very unpleasant environment. I was in training and the trainer was difficult and rude. I was miserable, but felt I had to stay with it because of health and financial reasons. I had asked God for a sign that I was on the right path in my work with learning reality creation. One day I left the training and I felt at my lowest ebb. It was gray and so cold outside. I backed my car out of the space and straightened it up and started to drive when a seagull flew down beside my driver's side window. I was so surprised! If the window had been open it was close enough that I could have touched it. And here is the other part that is a bit of a miracle to me, I was so amazed that it was there and stayed there that I drove to the end of the parking lot looking to the left at the seagull instead of watching where I was going. It stayed right beside me until I got to the end of the parking lot and then flew into the sky to join a companion that was circling overhead. Now, the other part is that I'm in the midwest and this was January, not a common time to see a seagull!! There is a large lake in a city about an hour from me and perhaps that's where it came from. All that week I saw hawks and other beautiful birds and written material about birds being an expression of freedom came to me unexpectedly. The seagull was simply wonderful and I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. I love animals and see them as an expression of God, too, so this was especially meaningful to me.

Beauty is all around us. There are miracles happening every day. And we are one of them -- the gift of this life and the love that we are. That's the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others.

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Thursday, December 01, 2005

Today is a day for celebration

Change is happening so quickly now and it isn't like I'm changing into someone else, it's that I'm changing into myself. All those old illusions and ideas I had about myself and life, the trying to fit in and be something I wasn't...just dissolving. It's so much easier to connect with people now because I feel connected to myself. I finished a channeling for Words of Well-Being and they wanted to add that if people make comments they will answer their questions! It wasn't a question of me being ready for it. It's going forth. It's happening. It's all happening. The writing I've wanted to do, the channeling that wanted to's here!! The life I want is here and Now.

I opened the blinds this morning to one of those beautiful snow storms -- big fluffy flakes drifting down. There is a polite and lovely blanket of snow on the ground and outlining the dark, wet branches of the trees. The streets are clear and cars go by. It's one of those days for enjoying the beauty of something new and different. The sky is a whitish grey, uniform in color, but not in intent...the snow is supposed to turn to rain later. So, anything can happen. It's a good day to go have Chinese food for lunch.

Today is a day for celebration.


December 2005 Nightlight Newsletter

A quiet but luminous awakening is taking place in December. It is a dawning of the understanding that we are Children of God. It means that those with whom we fight are all our brothers and sisters and it is time for peace. It means that every hardship and difficulty is not God’s Will for us. Something else is in the way; it is our investment in our ego’s plan for happiness. Looking back on our lives and looking at some of the mistakes we made by choosing the ego’s plan, we at least might want to hear what Heaven’s offer is and was as the alternative.

The energy for December focuses around the sweetness of joining and intimacy. It is a time of renewal and joy. The light is dawning for a whole new era. Families, friends and lovers are brought together in quiet celebration. A sense of purpose, fun and freedom are restored. The light has come. You are a Child of God. You deserve every good thing. All the rest was a mistake, an investment in a plan for separation and specialness that the ego sold you. This could only lead to pain and p rob lems and an ever more slippery path that leads to death. The other path leads to awakening and eternal return. It leads to the sure knowledge that we and everyone are children of God and that God’s Will for us is freedom and every good thing.

Many of the conflicts and that which disturbed our peace has come to resolution in November. What remains are ancient and childhood seams of misery that we have not freed ourselves of. These may surface in December. But remember these are not God’s Will and so there is an alternative and a quick solution. The ego backs us into a corner and, insanely, offers death as the way out. This form of sleep is never Heaven’s plan. Heaven offers miracles and awakening until our allotted time in this learning vehicle is over. Chronic p rob lems and incorrigible situations simply reflect some hidden attachment and refusal to change on our part. But change is in our best interest. It will not only bring about a better way, it will save us in many instances from our bad investments that eventually bring misery.

Change is coming. Let it come. Bring it on. Welcome it. You no longer have to do it all yourself. That was just a trap to keep you from having a happy life. The last necessary part to reach partnership, success and a happy flow forward is including yourself. Without self-inclusion nothing will work. It has to be happy for you also or it is just one more time you saddle yourself up to carry the big load. The ego told you this was responsibility but actually it was an old trap of sacrifice.

Look for Heaven’s plan to easily release you from your misery. Heaven’s response to all of our traps is grace and miracles. What seems impossible to change in our eyes is no p rob lem to Heaven. Our part is simply to want Heaven’s answer. You have been afraid to ask because you believe Heaven’s plan will take something from you. Whose voice was it you were listening to about Heaven’s offer of freedom? Doesn't what you heard sound suspiciously like something the ego would do and then tell you that Heaven was doing ?? God offers everything and takes nothing. God doesn’t need anything except you and your joy. It’s what every parent wants for their child. We are God’s treasure just as our children are our treasure.

As it states in A Course in Miracles, God has already given us everything. With the holiday season approaching, it seems like it is time to start opening the gifts. We have been afraid to ask Heaven’s plan for us because we believe it will ask sacrifice of us. We think it will take something from us that we are attached to. God cannot take. He is the principle of Giving. We are afraid of being taken from because we believe we can get something by taking. All of this makes us afraid to listen to the way out of scarcity and problems. God has already given us what we need and now it is time to receive it.

December is a good month for letting our life be lifted up. Miracles abound in December, though forgiveness may be necessary on our part to create the purification necessary for us to receive them. You can simply give your judgement of your brother over to Heaven to be transformed for you. Let the drought be over. Extend your blessing. Now is the time to step out of jail. The front door is open. It’s always been open. Walk out the front door into a new, bigger, more luxurious prison. Don’t worry! The front door is open on that prison too. It’s like that ever-bigger prisons until, finally, there are no more limitations. That will occur when you are not afraid to be free. This month, to the extent that you recognize yourself as a Child of God you will be carefree.

Chuck Spezzano

Psychology of Vision website

Gaia-Mind Healing Program
A Celebration of Grace - A Community of Healing. Gaia-Mind is an ongoing interactive healing programme from Chuck and Lency Spezzano.

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